Halloween is over, but before we shift into Christmas gear and start stirring Michael Bublé from his slumber, here’s one last scare for the road.
Now, if you’ve seen any pictures at all of our building, you’ll know it’s big. Like really big. Like 30,000 square feet big. Perks of turning a gym into an office space, I guess? Anyway, to close out the spookiest time of the year, we figured we’d take a little tour through the creepiest corners in the office.
Let’s Scooby-Dooby-Do this.
1. The Fire Escape
First up: this office spot still sees decent use. At least its upper levels do. The bottom of this staircase rarely receives people. Maybe it’s the dark, cramped feeling you get being compressed between four tall walls and an oppressive steel stairway. Maybe it’s the consistently wet and slimy brick floor and the thorny plants that spring from beneath the rocky topsoil.
In the event of a fire, we’re all going to be real happy it exists. For now though, we’ll just avoid it. It’s better that way.
2. The Pool Stairs
Claustropobes beware. We’re about to start spiralling down to some nasty places. Kinda like this staircase actually. It’s sunless, spinny, slippery, and stuffed full of cobwebs. However, it’s also a game-changing shortcut if you urgently need a bathroom break – they never tell you the stairway to heaven led straight through hell.
Leading from the pool right down into the office bathrooms, these stairs can save you the need to navigate some really long corridors. Let’s face it: all shortcuts carry risks. Even this staircase. Especially this staircase. It might twist your ankle, or it might steal your soul. But you weren’t doing anything with it, were you?
3. The Pump Room
Picture this: It’s dark – the lights don’t work. The roof is too low, forcing you to bend double as you gingerly tiptoe over the puddles and snake-like pipes running amok across the floor. In the corner, a large, squat shape hums away softly to itself, until – its hum crescendos into a scream, as machinery and liquid churn violently within.
Flashbacks to HBO’s Chernobyl, anyone? Spook factor: definitely.
4. The Sauna
In saunas, no one can hear you scream.
Besides the gross-out horror just thinking of all the sweat and dirt that’s soaked into the wood, you also have to contend with the fact that this room is a mini-prison. With its stiff, heavy door shut, it’s completely cut off from the outside world. Like a tomb. The only light enters from a shoe-sized window in the door, the internal bulb long burnt out.
There is no outside sound – all you can hear is your own breath. And if you sit there for long enough, maybe the breath of someone else?
5. Zil's Office
I mean, look at it. Who would want to make their office blood red at night besides Dracula, the Pale Woman, and maybe the Devil? Apparently our CEO. He’s also put up blackout blinds recently to keep sunlight out. Come to think of it, he’s been looking kinda pale recently. Like really pale. And tired. Hmmm. Maybe this calls for a test — of the garlic variety.
If you don’t hear from this writer ever again, assume the worst.
Disclaimer: The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.
…or the author.